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Post by Oracle on Jul 8, 2016 18:53:26 GMT
Apollo:
Vera, as the trial is getting nearer,
do you think you could make things clearer
for us?
How...long is it, that you have been in the business?
Did your father raise you to continue his crimes?
Vera:
I...was a young girl,
Afraid...of the world,
I always knew what I could do,
and father...he knew too.
When I was young, I loved to paint,
I would do it without restraint,
And when father saw my copying skills,
He realised he could pay the bills
And he set me a task a would regret--
Bailiff: Mr Justice. The Trial is about to begin. Miss Misham, please follow me.
Apollo: I wonder what she was going to say...
Trucy: Hmm, I bet it was something important... Hey, Vera, before you go, how is it you knew about our past cases?
Vera: Oh...um...My father, he knew of Wright & Co. Law offices, and...he was interested in Apollo's cases...
Bailiff: Come on, Miss Misham, the courtroom is waiting.
Apollo: The air is tense,
I must say, it's immensely
suffocating, I feel unnerved,
Its absurd,
I'm not a rookie any more
I should not be getting jitters
[note: this verse is supposed to be irregular! xx
its actually sung
the air is tense, i must say
it's immensely suffocating,
i feel unnerved, its absurd...
i'm not a rookie any more,
I should not be getting jitters]
Misham, she looks nervous,
she's just staring at Mr. Gavin...
I will give her the best service,
I can muster up, with my luck,
and my lawyer's intuition.
Klavier: So, Miss. Misham. Your Testimony?
Where was the envelope from?
Vera:
The envelope...was for my work,
My first real crime,
The first thing besides my forged artwork,
And it earned me a pretty dime.
Papa did the deal,
but I took the stamp,
It was meant to seal,
that letter when it went back.
Klavier : What made you take the stamp?
Vera: It... was a troupe Gramarye stamp...
Klavier: Oh? And what was their significance to you?
Vera: They... were my idols.
Trucy: Hey, Polly, did you hear that? She likes Troupe Gramarye!
Klavier: Now, Vera, why was it your father moved to the studio?
Vera:
We moved into the studio,
To avoid the suspicion,
If they knew a forger,
had lived in our location.
Apollo: Miss Misham, would you please elaborate?
Vera:
Father found I could copy letters,
Even signatures and fingerprints,
So that's how he decided,
that we could make our living- [is interrupted by klavier]
Klavier: L...Letters, you say? What was the first piece of evidence you forged?! [demanded, sharply]
Vera: U-Um...It was a diary...page...
Klavier: Ack! Say... was there a silk hat on the pag--
Apollo: Objection! The Defense finds this questioning unnecessary!
Klavier: Mr Justice, are you aware that a forged diary page is what felled Phoenix Wright himself?
Apollo: W-What? Vera, who was your client?
Vera: I...only met him once... I remember his face...I saw...The...The De...vil... [thud in the background]
[pause]
Ema: Mr Justice?
The defendant was poisoned with Atroquinine...
but what does this mean?
On her your case is dependant,
and without your defendant,
can this trial continue at all?
Phoenix:
During this trial,
And that's it i guess!
i'm not sure if i should add a bit where phoenix basically sings about the last quote of the trial segment or not
but criticisms would b good?
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Post by Shai on Jul 8, 2016 22:15:31 GMT
Ahhh, this is great! I have a question, just for clarification (ooh that rhymed, sweet), this is the part where Vera bites her nails and gets poisoned, right? I may just be deathly stupid and not be able to connect for myself, but at what point of the song would Vera start biting her nails?
As for criticisms, I personally have none! Keep it up! (I think it'd be a good idea to have Phoenix sing about that last quote.)
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Post by Oracle on Jul 8, 2016 22:23:26 GMT
I believe that, following the chronology of the segment, she begins biting her nails is just before klavier's first spoken line, when she is staring at him :3 so she collapses before ema's lines!
Aww thank you!
I will try and work in the Phoenix segment when i get the inspiration :3c
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Post by Oracle on Aug 11, 2016 11:02:47 GMT
Apollo:
Vera, as the trial is getting nearer,
do you think you could make things clearer
for us?
How...long is it, that you have been in the business?
Did your father raise you to continue his crimes?
Vera:
I...was a young girl,
Afraid...of the world,
I always knew what I could do,
and father...he knew too.
When I was young, I loved to paint,
I would do it without restraint,
And when father saw my copying skills,
He realised he could pay the bills
And he set me a task he would regret--
Bailiff: Mr Justice. The Trial is about to begin. Miss Misham, please follow me.
Apollo: I wonder what she was going to say...
Trucy: Hmm, I bet it was something important... Hey, Vera, before you go, how is it you knew about our past cases?
Vera: Oh...um...My father, he knew of Wright & Co. Law offices, and...he was interested in Apollo's cases...
Bailiff: Come on, Miss Misham, the courtroom is waiting.
Apollo: The air is tense,
I must say, it's immensely
suffocating, I feel unnerved,
Its absurd,
I'm not a rookie any more...
[note: this verse is supposed to be irregular!
its actually sung
the air is tense, i must say
it's immensely suffocating,
i feel unnerved, its absurd...
i'm not a rookie any more,]
Misham, she looks nervous,
she's just staring at Mr. Gavin...
I will give her the best service,
I can muster up, with my luck,
and my lawyer's intuition.
Klavier: So, Miss. Misham. Your Testimony?
Where was the envelope from?
Vera:
The envelope...was for my work,
My first real crime,
The first thing besides my forged artwork,
And it earned me a pretty dime.
Papa did the deal,
but I took the stamp,
It was meant to seal,
that letter when it went back.
Klavier : What made you take the stamp?
Vera: It... was a troupe Gramarye stamp...
Klavier: Oh? And what was their significance to you?
Vera: They... were my idols.
Trucy: Hey, Polly, did you hear that? She likes Troupe Gramarye!
Klavier: Now, Vera, why was it your father moved to the studio?
Vera:
We moved into the studio,
To avoid the suspicion,
If they knew a forger,
had lived in our location.
Apollo: Miss Misham, would you please elaborate?
Vera:
Father found I could copy letters,
Even signatures and fingerprints,
So that's how he decided,
that we could make our living- [is interrupted by klavier]
Klavier: L...Letters, you say? What was the first piece of evidence you forged?! [demanded, sharply]
Vera: U-Um...It was a diary...page...
Klavier: Ack! Say... was there a silk hat on the pag--
Apollo: Objection! The Defense finds this questioning unnecessary!
Klavier: Mr Justice, are you aware that a forged diary page is what felled Phoenix Wright himself?
Apollo: W-What? Vera, who was your client?
Vera: I...only met him once... I remember his face...I saw...The...The De...vil... [thud in the background]
[pause]
Ema: Mr Justice?
The defendant was poisoned with Atroquinine...
but what does this mean?
On her your case is dependant,
and without your defendant,
can this trial continue at all?
Phoenix:
During this trial, the defendant Vera Misham was poisoned by an unknown assailant. She is currently in intensive care, and they don't know if she'll pull through. *sighs*
This is not going how I planned it out,
The way that this trial has turned out,
fills me with guilt,
the case that apollo built,
is all in a peril,
thanks to my neglectful
way of presenting his brief!
i didn't ever mention the risk,
that the case would boil down to this,
I knew what gavin was able to do,
why didn't i think it was true,
that he'd poison such an innocent girl,
and confuse the entire world,
into thinking it was an act of suicide?
His Saccharine act has gone on for too long, We need to put a stop to this. Apollo, Trucy. I hope you're ready. It's only going to get tougher from here on out.
And to think it started with just a single page...
Okay so here is the slightly revised version with ADDED PHOENIX
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Post by gyakutentrial on Aug 13, 2016 3:25:28 GMT
this is grEAT AND I LOVE IT
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Post by Oracle on Aug 13, 2016 6:58:37 GMT
!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAA THANK YOUUUU !!!!!!!!! :DDDDDDD
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Post by Lumos314 on Aug 22, 2016 3:40:38 GMT
Okay. So what if we tried to combine this with what we have of "A Misham Regular" (I think that's what we're calling it now? All of our songs go through names like they're going out of style. XD)? I don't know how to explain the idea I have very well, but it would make more sense canonically I think, and we'd be able to take more creative liberties with it, maybe?
Argh my words aren't working right now. I'll think about how to say this better.
But I do like what you have. I especially like the addition of Phoenix's section. It adds more... I dunno, emotion? to the song, and it really conveys frustration on Phoenix's part. Plus, it's a nice segway into the MASON system part, even if it's not all going to be from Phoenix's point of view, here.
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Post by Oracle on Aug 22, 2016 7:00:33 GMT
Hmm, I'm not too sure how It'd work to combine the two? It may make the song way too long? I'm not too sure how much it would work, but I'm sure I could try and bring in some of A Misham Regular,but it may be difficult to integrate
Perhaps I could juggle around the spoken section a little? I'm not even too sure what other stuff I'd put in here, which is why I'm thinking it needs to be two songs, since A Misham Regular does take place before this one, it's more before the investigation, which should have a song too, if we have the space. So like, Apollo discovering the forged paintings, and the photo frame and such
I do think that perhaps we could convey the MASON system stuff after Phoenix's segment, perhaps even featuring Apollo or Ema, maybe Ema reviewing the footage from the badgecam thing? So like she's saying how the case is all coming together, I think it'd be interesting yet ambitious xD
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Post by Lumos314 on Aug 22, 2016 12:44:25 GMT
I've been thinking about the way we're putting this musical together, and one thing in particular is bothering me: in all of the research I've done into writing musicals in general, it's always mentioned that it can't just be "hey, let's take this story and write songs to it!" A musical should be something that HAS to be sung. An overflow of emotion that just can't stay spoken. I'm not sure yet what that means, but I can tell you that the approach we've taken to writing this is that every plot detail needs a song, and every song is a plot detail. I think we really need to narrow down what is going to be a song and what isn't, because as it stands, not only will we have far too many songs, but we'll have songs that fall flat.
Another important thing I've seen that's been mentioned over and over again is that songs need to have a definite direction, both for the plot and the characters. I feel like our songs thus far haven't really taken that into consideration -- at least not the emotionally part. It's something we need to start thinking about, even if we don't quite know what it means yet.
As far as this specific song goes, I think it should be alright to combine them plotwise, because using a different medium allows for a few changes. And, after all, Vera refuses to talk when they first meet in the detention center. If we pinpoint the most important parts of both songs, not just for the plot, it would be easier to connect them.
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Post by skyesisters on Oct 21, 2016 17:13:07 GMT
I'm currently putting this song to music.
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Post by Oracle on Oct 21, 2016 20:43:35 GMT
aaaah that's awesome!! <3
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Post by angelofphantoms on Oct 21, 2016 21:02:11 GMT
I'm excited to see it!
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Post by skyesisters on Oct 23, 2016 14:50:04 GMT
drive.google.com/file/d/0Bz7VBTZCRg8IMzJKQWdiM25wME0/view?usp=sharingI did it! excuse my singing and the changing of many of the lyrics ALSO When Vera says "He knew too", the "ooh" was supposed to be similar to the "ooh" in The Reynolds Pamphlet, when Angelica announces "I'm not here for you". And, finally, when there's dialogue, a riff similar to the start of the MLP fan song "Anthropology" plays.
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Post by Oracle on Oct 23, 2016 15:15:19 GMT
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
This is so good im yelling
i love it
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Post by skyesisters on Oct 23, 2016 16:01:16 GMT
LYRICS!!! They're always handy.
Apollo: (sung) Vera, as the trial is getting nearer
Do you think you could make things clearer for us?
How...long is it, that you have been in this business?
Did you know what you were doing was wrong?
Were the morals something that you would discuss?
Vera: I...was a young girl
Afraid...of the world
I always knew what I could do
Apollo: (spoken) And, your father?
Vera: (sung) ...he knew too.
(CHORUS: Ooooh...)
Vera: When I was young, I loved to paint
I would do it without restraint
And, when father saw my copying skills
He set me a task that would pay the bills
[Dialogue]
Apollo: The air is tense; I must say
It's immensely suffocating
I feel unnerved; it's absurd
Can I do this? I'm concerned
Vera Misham; she looks nervous
I will give her my best service
With my lawyer's intuition
She'll go free; that's my ambition
[Dialogue]
Vera: The envelope...was for my work
My first real crime
The first thing besides my forged artwork
And the blame was all mine
Papa gave his name
But I kept the stamp
It had been meant to seal
The letter when it went back
[Dialogue]
Vera: We moved into the studio
To avoid the public's abation
Which they would give, if they knew
A forger lived in our location
[Dialogue]
Vera: Father found I could copy letters
Fingerprints and evidence, too
That's when he decided
This was what we should do-
[Tense dialogue]
Ema: The defendant was poisoned with Atroquinine
But...what does this mean?
On her, this case is dependant
But we all saw her fall
And, without your defendant
Can this trial continue at all?
[Dialogue]
Phoenix: This is not how I planned it out
The way this trial has turned out
Fills me with guilt
The case that Apollo built
It has crumbled; it's in peril
Thanks to Phoenix Wright's neglectful
Way of presenting his brief
I knew what Kristoph was able to do
Why didn't I think it were true
That he'd poison a girl
And convince the whole world
Into thinking the only victim here was Drew?
Oh, how I've tried...
But the world will think this was an act of suicide.
[Dialogue]
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Post by Shai on Oct 25, 2016 21:03:35 GMT
this is so good omg!!! I love how the beginning is reminiscent of apollo's objection theme and gives the listener a feeling of tension as the songs starts
I think apollo's first verse can either a) use some re-writing to fit the melody you have for it or b) have a slightly different melody so it fits the lyrics that already exists--the way it is, that verse has to be sung faster and it gets hard to understand what is being said
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