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Post by Oracle on May 29, 2016 22:23:42 GMT
Yeah I'm not sure how this would fit into the timeline, but I'm just transferring over the song draft I had from our google docs ^-^
Vera: (Sung as she sits on her cell bed) My papa once told me there are good people out there, But I could not believe him, for that man had hurt me, He hurt both my trust in others, and in this beautiful world And, now my world is shroud in my deceit [this line trails off and is more tearful]
[the door opens, the bailiff enters] Bailiff: Miss. Misham, your lawyer is here to speak with you now. [the two exit into the detention centre from her cell]
[slight tempo increase here (SECTION CHANGE)????]
Apollo: (sung) Miss Misham could'ya tell me what happened on the day of the crime?
Vera: (pause) (writing on paper briefly) It was 9pm, the time father's coffee is always made Mr. Reporter was talking to papa so I made him a coffee too
Apollo: (spoken) I see, I see... (sung) Prosecutor Gavin says this case is easy, open and closed! But is that really true? [e sound elongated!]
Vera: (paper sound) (spoken bluntly) No sir
(SECTION CHANGE, SLOW LIKE BEGINNING)
Vera: I did not poison papa's drink, I had no access to those chemicals! I'm sure detective skye could tell you that, If she's finished her snacking spell...
-slower, more spoken lines- My papa was nothing but kind to me
Apollo: (sung) Did he do it to himself deliberately?
Vera: (sung) There was no reason for papa to have been that way!
Apollo: (spoken) Miss.Misham...I heard your mother had left...
Vera: (spoken, softly and tearfully) That may be true, but...
Apollo: (spoken, gently) But what?
Vera: (sung, tearfully but with emotion) But he loved me too.... (trails off slowly)
apologies for my weird commenting on the delivery of lines, so feel free to query anything!
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Post by Oracle on Jun 10, 2016 21:31:43 GMT
Note to self: Remake this piece of junk ew Notes for reference before i forget: A duet between Apollo and Vera mostly But there are some lines where trucy sings Apollo first starts singing about his worries about the case since vera isnt talking and when he and trucy go to leave, she begins singing about her self and apollo mutters that one line about the schoolgirl passing notes in class, and she begins singing about the studio Then possibly she moves onto talking about apollo and trucy and her opinions on them while apollo sings his opinion on her???
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Post by Lumos314 on Jun 10, 2016 23:24:51 GMT
I actually really love that idea! The one of her not wanting to respond but starting to sing to herself, and then APOLLO starts singing with her and that's how they question her kinda but it's really gentle and sweet and they kinda just talk to eachother and not to eachother and stuff?
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Post by Lumos314 on Jun 10, 2016 23:25:13 GMT
(Please excuse the fact that that post made no sense.)
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Post by Oracle on Jun 11, 2016 9:54:10 GMT
I love verapollo doing a duet idea whoops
But anyway thank you for saying you like that idea i thought it'd be so lame omg,,, xD but my original song didn't fit with the timeline because i'm bad @ chronology XD
I may try and get something done today after chores x)
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Post by Oracle on Jun 11, 2016 19:54:09 GMT
APOLLO: Well it seems our defendant, cares little for our theatrics, Trucy dear, we should just head home now Before we waste our time more
TRUCY: (spoken, angrily) Polly! You know papa said we can't do that! We'll get her to talk somehow. Wait, look! She's doing her nails!
APOLLO: (hissed) Great, the first thing she does when she wakes up is paint her nails. Trucy, let's just go.
(the two go to leave)
VERA: (spoken, quietly) Wait, don't go yet... Here... (she passes over her business card)
APOLLO: What's this? A business card? I feel like a teenager on a first date! And this is the love letter we passed from desk to desk at school… (sighs)VERA: I'm sorry, sir, but I just can't trust you! Not yet anyway, Of that I'm certain! So just open your eyes and draw back the curtain on this case! I did not kill my father, I loved him dearly, So uncover the truth and untie the noose they have put around my neck!
APOLLO: I can't help but feel the doubt and uncertainty, tainting my mind and judgement of this girl! I can't let myself back down now, For Trucy and for her I'll let my confidence surge! She didn't kill her father and that I must believe, Even if she doesn't trust me I hope she will believe, In my talent for getting people not guilty in court!
TRUCY: (spoken) So...Vera, was it? Do you like magic? Oh...She's hiding again.
APOLLO: Wait, I have an idea. Ever heard of Troupe Gramarye?
After this I was thinking of having a section of Vera talking about her childhood, while Apollo and Trucy talk about her shows, and Troupe Gramarye [possibly Thalassa's 'accident' to allow for some condensing in the overall act? Then again, it'd make this song a bit longer... but I'm pretty happy with what this is so far :3 [also comments which aren't speech directions in brackets are to give context for what is going on in the scene itself as opposed to the song]
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Post by Lumos314 on Jun 12, 2016 2:22:08 GMT
Would it be possible to edit the beginning some? I love the idea of consolidation, and making this longer. Though, we might wanna work out a melody first. Did you have one in mind? Prob'ly something soft and gentle.
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Post by Oracle on Jun 12, 2016 5:38:17 GMT
Sure, we would probably have to add a little bit at the beginning, since I just had this random spark of inspiration to write this! x) I did have something in mind, Like for the start it's slow and gentle, ['the defendant cares little for our theatrics' to the fourth line there] but I was thinking that Vera's voice would heavily contradict her gentle and sheepish nature, by being somewhat stronger, but it would need to compliment Apollo's and the melody xD
As for Melody, I'm not too sure for the main bit, but I'd say just what goes best with the lyrics? Possibly slow for the beginning lines, and then when it gets to the 'untie the noose' it speeds up a little bit, and then after 'neck' it slows again for Apollo's bit, and then does something similar there?
I will try and work on extending this too, so we can cram in as much information as possible into one song as opposed to trailing it across two or three!
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Post by Oracle on Jun 12, 2016 8:44:02 GMT
a bit for the beginning i started working on [will possibly add more but i gotta post it now]
APOLLO: So where is our defendant? That can't be her off in the background, She can't be hiding from us, We're the nicest guys around!
TRUCY: (spoken) Hey, maybe it's those horns on your head?
APOLLO: (muttered angrily) Sheesh, it's just a bit of hair gel... (sung) So miss defendant, could you perhaps tell us your name? Or even give us an incline of who you are before you drive us insane! (sigh) Looks like this isn't going to work, Guess I'll go home with my pride broken and hurt, Or maybe just try again!
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Post by lawyernerd on Jun 12, 2016 19:24:47 GMT
Yeah, I really like this song! I love the idea of having Vera's nervousness portrayed as uncertain singing that gets stronger with encouragement from Apollo. The melody should be sort of timid and shy, slow at first (with little accompaniment?) and then grows more bold and certain. I agree that "untie the noose" would be a good line to start having things pick up as Vera finds strength in her determination to find her father's killer. I think it's a super good start!
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Post by Oracle on Jun 12, 2016 19:39:35 GMT
Ayyy thanks aww!!! I was thinking of hopefully getting a bit more done today or tomorrow! <3 [bcause its late sorta x 0 x]
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Post by lawyernerd on Jun 12, 2016 19:48:19 GMT
lol no problem! Good luck to you, if you need any help, lemme know!
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Post by Oracle on Jun 12, 2016 20:02:56 GMT
adding some more after my last bit xD
APOLLO: It's such a lovely day, don't you think? How about we bring you something to eat? ('gah' of shock) (Spoken) Miss, are you okay? (sung) She just collapsed as if out of nowhere, The guard doesn't seem awfully concerned... So that means it can't be that bad... Or does it really mean so?
Trucy: Oh! Don't worry, Polly! She's waking up!
Then it goes back into the song listed up above 'well it seems the defendant'
then the next part:
Trucy: Polly she seems happy! Want to see a magic trick?!
Mr Hat: Hey there! I'm Mr. Hat!
Apollo: Trucy! You scared her away! Miss Magic Underwear probably would have been a safer bet...
Trucy: That's magic panties to you Apollo! (hisses) Wait, shh, she's coming back!
and i'm getting tired so this is all for now, so sorry it's mostly spoken--
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Post by Madfox on Jun 13, 2016 3:43:50 GMT
I like a lot of this, but it's just a bit out of character. I'll make some more concrete suggestions tomorrow! You're doing a great job, though! Our other songs are all collaborations, so things like that usually get caught by one of the people on a project. Since you've done a great deal of this on your own, it's harder to get everything perfect. I appreciate you working on this!
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Post by Oracle on Jun 13, 2016 5:00:44 GMT
Thank you ahh,, I am trying to stick as close to the character as I can but it's a bit harder in a song than it is while writing a story x) also it's a little difficult to incorporate lines that sound good in the way i write this song [rhyming a lot etc.] so that could be where the OOC stems from xD Vera should be pretty in-character though hopefully?
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Post by Oracle on Jun 22, 2016 21:16:20 GMT
Hmmm I was thinking about some stuff, and I came up with a possible title... "Forging a case"? A sorta double meaning with 'Forging' as in 'forgery' and then... making, y'know
Also "Meeting my sham" As in, Vera facing her own sham, and Apollo meeting misham
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Post by Madfox on Jun 23, 2016 12:26:28 GMT
I NEVER REALIZED THAT MISHAM WAS A PUN
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Post by Oracle on Jun 23, 2016 12:29:50 GMT
WHAT THATS LIKE ME NOT REALISING THE JOKE IN CANDICE ARME XD
Also Vera means Truth So her name literally means "Truth My Sham" BeCCAUSEEEE SHESsssSSS DREW MISHAM! i hate capcom
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Post by Madfox on Jun 23, 2016 12:31:19 GMT
And DREW MISHAM DREW MY SHAM
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Post by Madfox on Jun 23, 2016 12:32:15 GMT
I need some aloe Vera because I just got burned
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Post by Oracle on Jun 23, 2016 12:38:24 GMT
I hate capcom sooooo much i swear
can you share the aloe Vera because i'm so burned i couldn't come up with another vera pun i'm so sad
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Post by Madfox on Jun 23, 2016 16:44:05 GMT
I want to share vera much but i used it all sorry
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Post by Oracle on Jun 23, 2016 17:27:34 GMT
you're making me vera mad right now
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Post by Madfox on Jun 23, 2016 23:35:47 GMT
So, uh... There are a lot of snippets here. I want to see if I can even out the meter a little bit so a melody would work better with it, but I don't know the order that all of these parts go in XD
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Post by Oracle on Jun 24, 2016 9:05:54 GMT
sorry omg here's the correct order xD
APOLLO: So where is our defendant? That can't be her off in the background, She can't be hiding from us, We're the nicest guys around!
TRUCY: (spoken) Hey, maybe it's those horns on your head?
APOLLO: (muttered angrily) Sheesh, it's just a bit of hair gel... (sung) So miss defendant, could you perhaps tell us your name? Or even give us an incline of who you are before you drive us insane! (sigh) Looks like this isn't going to work, Guess I'll go home with my pride broken and hurt, Or maybe just try again!
APOLLO: It's such a lovely day, don't you think? How about we bring you something to eat? ('gah' of shock) (Spoken) Miss, are you okay? (sung) She just collapsed as if out of nowhere, The guard doesn't seem awfully concerned... So that means it can't be that bad... Or does it really mean so?
Trucy: Oh! Don't worry, Polly! She's waking up!
APOLLO: Well it seems our defendant, cares little for our theatrics, Trucy dear, we should just head home now Before we waste our time more
TRUCY: (spoken, angrily) Polly! You know papa said we can't do that! We'll get her to talk somehow. Wait, look! She's doing her nails!
APOLLO: (hissed) Great, the first thing she does when she wakes up is paint her nails. Trucy, let's just go.
(the two go to leave)
VERA: (spoken, quietly) Wait, don't go yet... Here... (she passes over her business card)
APOLLO: What's this? A business card? I feel like a teenager on a first date! And this is the love letter we passed from desk to desk at school… (sighs) VERA: I'm sorry, sir, but I just can't trust you! Not yet anyway, Of that I'm certain! So just open your eyes and draw back the curtain on this case! I did not kill my father, I loved him dearly, So uncover the truth and untie the noose they have put around my neck!
APOLLO: I can't help but feel the doubt and uncertainty, tainting my mind and judgement of this girl! I can't let myself back down now, For Trucy and for her I'll let my confidence surge! She didn't kill her father and that I must believe, Even if she doesn't trust me I hope she will believe, In my talent for getting people not guilty in court!
TRUCY: (spoken) So...Vera, was it? Do you like magic? Oh...She's hiding again.
APOLLO: Wait, I have an idea. Ever heard of Troupe Gramarye?
Trucy: Polly she seems happy! Want to see a magic trick?!
Mr Hat: Hey there! I'm Mr. Hat!
Apollo: Trucy! You scared her away! Miss Magic Underwear probably would have been a safer bet...
Trucy: That's magic panties to you Apollo! (hisses) Wait, shh, she's coming back!
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Post by Madfox on Jun 24, 2016 12:39:36 GMT
All right! Thank you! So I think you're very capable of editing this yourself if I show you what we need.
Here's a verse from your song: She just collapsed as if out of nowhere, The guard doesn't seem awfully concerned... So that means it can't be that bad... Or does it really mean so?
So you have 10, 10, 8, and 7 syllables in each line. Ideally, they would all be 8, but as long as they're the same length, it's workable. You also have no rhymes. We like rhymes. You could either use an ABAB or AABB rhyme scheme. This can switch as the melody does, but it needs to change with purpose.
I would fix this stanza as an example, but I'm late for something right now RIP
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Post by Oracle on Jun 24, 2016 12:50:22 GMT
Okay! I will try to fix it up asap, but I think most of my verses have...some rhyme lmao I tried mah best--
But yeah, thanks for giving me some areas to work on you're amazin' (/ ^ 3 ^)/ ❤️
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Post by Oracle on Jul 4, 2016 15:15:06 GMT
APOLLO: Trucy where is our defendant? On her our case is dependent, We can't have her hiding from us, Especially when we have things to discuss.
APOLLO: So, could you tell us your name? And stop us playing a guessing game, I'm not going to ask again, Or I am going to go insane.
APOLLO: It's such a pleasant day outside, You're standing here teary-eyed,
I'm sure we can get you the justice you deserve, Don't worry miss, I have an iron nerve.
I will be your saviour, I'm on my best behaviour.
I can only ask for you to trust me, And I hope you'll hear my plea, For you to believe in Justice, We ask you do not distrust us.
[a couple seconds of silence BACKGROUND ACTION: VERA IS PAINTING HER NAILS]
Well it appears that our defendant Is trying to be independent, Trucy let us just go home now, We'll win our case somehow,
We will see this case through, We will make sure to save you, We are taking our leave now, Then we will see how, This case is going to take shape, And we'll work to change your fate.
[music fades]
VERA: (spoken, quietly) Wait, don't go yet... Here...take this.
APOLLO: What's this? A business card? I feel like a teenager on a first date! And this is the love letter we passed from desk to desk at school…
VERA: I'm sorry, sir, but I just can't trust you, Not yet anyway, Of that I'm certain, Open your eyes and pull back the curtain, I'm sure you will pull through.
I couldn't have killed my father, Please believe me mister lawyer,
Can you see the truth, Can you untie the noose, That is coiled around my neck,
okay so this is as far as i have r/n, thinking of taking most of the spoken out, and i'm unsure how to end Vera's last verse here [there will be more] since there's not much that makes sense that rhymes with any of it but i like the line, so i'm not sure whether to let it go or just leave it not rhyming?
I'm also torn between the titles 'Forging a Case' or 'Meeting my Sham' I'm thinking the second one, as the first sounds more like something at the start of the trial as opposed to pre-trial
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Post by Lumos314 on Jul 7, 2016 3:26:11 GMT
So, I've been thinking about this song and this is what I've come up with:
Vera needs to be VERY shy at first, and I don't see her breaking out with fully formed verses for a while. Maybe towards the end she could?
Apollo is coming off a bit strong here. He's still pretty uncertain of both himself and Vera. If this song works as a bit of a confidence booster for both of them, then it can develop both characters.
Trucy's pretty good, though it'd be cool if she could be there more.
What if... What if Vera's humming the Troupe Gramarye theme song as she paints her nails, as another way to help herself calm down? And then Apollo and Trucy join her? Through that, she gives them info about the case, and they're still able to persuade her to open up. Make any sense?
I've started to compile what you have with what I'm thinking... I've got the beginning here but I'm working on it as we speak.
APOLLO: Uh, sir, when is someone going to get our defendant?
BAILIFF: Huh? She's been in here this whole time.
APOLLO: [muttered] Great. I finally get a client who doesn't confess and speaks English, but now she's hiding.
TRUCY: *huffs* Polly, that's no way to go about this. Hi, there! I'm Trucy! Wanna see some magic?
APOLLO: [quietly] Looks like that's working. Keep it up.
TRUCY: Prepare to meet my friend... The Amazing Mr. Hat! *Mr. Hat sound effect*
VERA: *squeals*
APOLLO: ... Or not.
*Long pause, any sound effects associated with doing nails. Vera begins to hum part of the song very softly/shakily and slowly*
APOLLO: Why does it smell... Hey! If doing her nails is more important than saving her life then I'm out of here.
TRUCY: Wait!
*Humming grows ever so slightly louder during a pause*
TRUCY: (sung)
Stay a minute. Look right here.
Try and say it isn't clear
It's a pleasant day outside
But she's in here, teary-eyed
(spoken)
Here comes Justice…?
APOLLO: *sigh* With a capital J.
*Trucy giggles and the humming grows noticeably louder*
APOLLO: Wait, I know this song… *Begins to hum along*
That's as far as I've gotten polished, but I'm working on the rest. If we do end up with a Gramayre theme song thing, it should prob'ly turn out something like the "Unlimited" theme in Wicked... Though I'm having a hard time making the melody truly unrecognizable at first.
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Post by Lumos314 on Jul 7, 2016 3:26:45 GMT
...I have no idea what happened to the formatting. Sorry!
EDIT: WAIT! I've got a melody! I'm gonna get right on this...
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